Keep Shining
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Originally from episode 051 Finding Her Podcast
Sometimes you might not be shining.
You have heard it like a needle on a record player getting stuck in a loop.
“This too shall pass.”
“You are stronger than you think.”
“It’s okay to not be ok.”
“ What you are going through will make you stronger.”
“Do the work and be rewarded”.
We often respond after being asked if we are okay with:
I’m ok
I’m fine
It was nothing
No worries
Or just a plain blah
It’s easier to just go with the flow.
Multitasking queen.
Meanwhile, we continue to pile tasks, people, places, and things into our lives. Even when we have no time and or space.
We find a way to get it done. To make it work and fit. Just like playing a game of Tetris, we make them all fit.
Society has programmed us to be proud of multitasking.
A superhuman who can do and have it all.
Often we continue to want more and more.
Scarcity.
Feelings of not enough.
Overwhelmed and lost.
Worn down and exhausted.
But we soldier on.
I want you to think about yourself when I tell you this story.
Yep, I want you to take this moment to sit with yourself. Think of how you can relate to this story.
I want you to recognize if you are shining in your life right now just like a diamond?
This moves me to share that in 1953, a film called Gentlemen Prefer Blondes starring Marilyn Monroe was released. Where she sang “Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend”. How could you not know that song? And how could you not like diamonds?
Diamonds are beautiful.
They are strong AF.
They are graded through clarity, cut, size, and color.
Regardless of their shine, they continue to rule the precious gems market.
They often become dirty and dull until they are cleaned and serviced.
Think about this:
What if you were your own best friend instead of a diamond? You are the diamond in your story, your journey. Your strength and hope can guide you to shine bright again.
Hummm….
My diamond lost its shine in 2008. I hit rock bottom going 200 miles per hour. Yes, let’s just say I hit a wall while driving on the Autobahn called life that year. Quite honestly, my diamond/ my best friend was lost, dirty, and dull.
My diamond and I were suffering in silence.
Just like many of you continue to do.
Spending 10 days in a mental hospital with many other dull diamonds was my rock bottom. The best part of my story is my dull, overthinking, self-sabotaging, high achieving diamond and I survived.
It was a struggle.
A huge struggle.
Being in a locked facility for mental health support was an experience I will never forget. In the beginning, I stayed in bed, refused to eat, and spend any time outside of my room. It was just me and my damn dull diamond.
This was not the Ritz Carlton, so I shared my room with many other women.
One stands out in my memories as her cries bellowed throughout the halls each day like an injured animal.
I never saw her face.
I just felt her agony and suffering through the salmon-colored curtains that hung to give us all privacy.
I was scared, worried, and unsure what all the other dull diamonds were doing. Until one day, I was brave enough to begin working towards recovery with my team which consisted of a psychiatrist and countless nurses.
I like to call them the service professionals. A real mental health Shane Company.
To be honest,
I deep down wanted to shine, but I didn’t know-how.
I didn’t know how to understand and share my feelings instead of burying them.
I didn’t know how to ask for help because it was a sign of weakness.
I didn’t understand mental health because no one talked about it.
So I had to take it upon myself to flip the script.
It all begins with that first step:
Although I felt like Cersei Lannister, when she walked through the community naked ringing a bell while everyone screamed SHAME…..
I got up and took my first step.
I began at the dinner table by joining all my new dull diamond friends for a family-style meal.
Remember diamonds come in all sizes, cut, clarity and color.
I was the overdose survivor Mom diamond.
There was a screaming all the time diamond. Sometimes they would take that diamond away.
A retired severely depressed diamond.
A bougie teenager diamond who wore giant mirrored aviator shades.
A twenty-something year old video gamer diamond.
A traumatized diamond who remained in our room.
A silent diamond who stared out the window most of the day.
And the final diamond who just didn’t want to live anymore.
While talking with them they too felt like their diamond lost their shine forever.
I shared this part of my journey with you all today to have you think about your current or past trying times.
The days where your diamond may be dull.
The days where you are not sure where to go to ask for help.
The days where its too overwhelming to think about.
The days when you feel so lost that you don’t know where to start.
I want to end this post today by saying:
Your diamond can always be shined.
Through taking your first step.
By holding up a mirror to look within yourself to face your flaws.
By making an appointment to meet with a therapist.
By unloading all the bullshit from your overpacked schedule.
By saying I’m not okay when someone asks.
By learning how to feel things and let them go if it doesn’t serve you.
By loving your stretch marks and muffin top while wearing your new bathing suit.
By working hard and becoming stronger in resilience.
By not letting fear override your life.
By standing in your truth and sharing your experiences.
By being a best friend to yourself.
Your diamond is you!
That is why I chose to close my podcast with keep shining because we can all resonate with being a dull diamond sometime in our lives. Maybe it was just today or last week. It is up to you to change the way you live your life.
Remember you are strong AF.
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